Let’s Get Kinky
What is kink? I get this question all the time, being in the world of BDSM, and I can talk about it all day long, just barely scratching the surface. Let's break it down. BDSM stands for "Bondage and Discipline, Dominance and Submission, Sadism and Masochism." I know just those words sound pretty scary, and that's okay. There are a lot of assumptions people make when they hear about dominance and submission. The most common one is that the dominant can order the submissive to do anything, and the sub has no choice in the matter which is not valid. There are many different D/s dynamics, but one thing remains the same: There is always a choice, and one can always say no. Safe, sane, and consensual is respected, and we live by that credo.
Here is an example of a D/s dynamic in which I engage. I am a submissive through and through. What that means to me is that I find bliss in handing over the power. In my daily life, I have to be in control of a lot; My work, my sobriety, my actions. When I am engaging in a power dynamic, I get the chance to stop thinking about all of that. It is an escape for me, yet I still hold all of the control. I set my hard limits, boundaries, and safe words. I have the right to stop the scene whenever I chose, and that allows me the freedom to let go. I am also a service sub. What that means is that I get satisfaction through being of service to others, making their lives easier. A few examples include tying my Dom's shoes, getting them a drink, laying out their toys, among other things. All of this may sound odd, but it is liberating for me.
My dominant also gets pleasure in my serving them, helping them, and the desire I have for that. Its a give and take, service and affirmation, both of us grateful for each other. What I give to a Dom is a gift, and that is understood. I am trusting them not to harm me or take advantage of me, and that's beautiful. There are so many facets of a D/s dynamic, and it truly has changed my life. I went at this alone when I started, which made it so much harder than it had to be, but after meeting people in the scene, I came to understand what my desires meant. I was and still am embraced, accepted, and loved. Now I take others into the scene in a safe way, showing them the beauty, freedom, and down-right awesomeness that rocks my world. It is okay to want this, and I welcome you to the groovy world of BDSM.